Another random story.

Since halloween is coming up, i decided to show this story i wrote about christmas last year in creative writing

Twas the Weeks before Christmas

            As we prepare to celebrate Christmas once again, it reminds me of a time when I spent with my family not long ago. It all started off innocently enough when I went to help my sister shop on Black Friday. I was twenty three at the time and had just returned home from studying abroad in Libya, so my sibling was rather excited to spend some time with me. That morning we got up bright and early so as to get to the stores as soon as possible. It was at this point where I realized my mistake in agreeing to go with her. Even though we were outside the store at 4 am there was already a line long enough to span across three parking lots. This led to our second problem. There was absolutely nowhere to park. We decided to park in the parking lot of a nearby Burger King that was empty. To brighten my day even more I realized that I had stepped on an especially slick patch of ice. I had of course realized this as I was in the process of falling down upon it. When I got up I could already feel a lump forming on the back of my head. After such a horrendous start of the day I had hoped it would soon become better. I was wrong.

After waiting in line for an hour and a half we were finally allowed into the store. There was such a mad rush of people running into the store it intensified the pain I was already in for falling on the ice. My sister had yet to show any sympathy or caring at all towards me as she was so focused on shopping the only thing that would detract her from it would have been a sale on something else. This would not have normally bothered me except for the fact that I was expected to carry everything. By the time it was over I was holding a flat screen TV, three sets of Legos and an assortment of clothing and useless garbage that no one needs, but seems to want for no discernable reason. I was glad when I was told that we would be leaving the store. My happiness was short lived when I realized that we were going to multiple other stores. The rest of the day then proceeded to pass by in a blur of shopping bags and waiting in line for upwards of an hour at a time. My only rest was taking her from one place to another. My rest soon turned into discomfort when she decided that her son needed a bookshelf and I had to cram in into the car, so for the remainder of the day I had a bookshelf obscuring most of my vision as well as it occasionally slipping and falling onto me. Needless to say I was glad when the day came to an end. However, my holiday plight was not yet over.

            The next day was even more eventful. I had to drive to the airport and pick up my crazed uncle. The drive there was calm enough and I allowed myself to think that maybe my uncle was as crazy as I made him out to be. I soon realized my folly when I saw him coming of the plain. He was about five foot six at the time and would have been un-assuming enough had it not been for the bear pelt he was wearing along with the raccoon shorts. That in combination with the crocs he was wearing on his feet re-established my belief that he was indeed crazy. He then proceeded to talk to me in jive regardless of that fact that he was a fifty six year old white guy. What made the encounter worse was that the moment he saw me he gave me a hug that last three minutes and would not take his arm off my shoulder. Those that were around us gave us weird looks the entire time. Then things became even worse when we reached baggage claim. I was about to ask him which bag was his when I saw what appeared to be a full alligator coming down the track. I then realized that that was his bag. I then proceeded to act like I didn’t know him, but he made this task impossible due him referring to me as Nancy until I responded to him. So I quickly took him to my car parked outside when I then realized that it had been towed for illegal parking. I was then forced to ride the bus with my uncle and his full alligator suitcase. I then became aware of a rather disgusting smell and soon realized it was my uncle’s suitcase. The alligator smelled as if it had only recently been killed. When I asked my uncle about it he responded by saying that it had indeed been killed only three weeks ago and he had it made into a suitcase. When we finally arrived at the hotel my uncle was staying at I gladly bade him farewell and went home. The following week proved to be just as eventful as the last one.

            A week after Thanksgiving was the day of the family Christmas party. Since I was staying with my parents it proved futile to try and talk my way out of attending the party. I was given the task of retrieving my uncle from his hotel and since my car was still impounded I was forced to take my father’s scooter. When I arrived at the hotel my uncle gave me a strange look, but got on the scooter without asking. I was lucky that it was a rather large scooter and it had two seats so my uncle didn’t have to hold onto me as much as he would have had it been a normal sized scooter. The ride back was both awkward an uncomfortable, but luckily did not last long. Upon arriving back to my parents’ home I realized that my entire family had already arrived. After parking the scooter and getting inside, I was forced to wade through a seeming innumerable amount of toddlers I do not know and highly doubt I am related to any of them. Since I came from such a large family I also met many second and third cousins who I don’t recall ever meeting before. Shortly after meeting these so called relatives we ate dinner and I managed to slip away to the back porch. The night air was chilly, but I welcomed it over the smell of sweat puke that seemed to accompany the small children that were running about. I was soon joined by my crazy uncle. I was about to leave when I noticed that he was different and didn’t seem as crazy as he normally did. He told me thanks for picking him up and told me how lonely he was up on the mountain on which he lived and I knew how he felt. Even though I don’t usually enjoy spending time with most of my family, I do miss them when we are apart.

Random story i wrote last year

here is a short story i had to write last year. ENJOY!!!

Checkmate

As John Knight roamed through Chicago’s back alleys he took in all that was around him. The horrendous smell of the waste that was strewn about and the cardboard boxes one might find a homeless man in; the poor lighting and musty mist that rose from the man-hole covers that smelt like fecal matter. He felt at home. This was the same city he grew up in and the only thing that had changed was that the bad neighborhoods only expanded and the politicians were more corrupt. It was a city that helped shaped him into the man that he was to this day, that is, until his son was more recently born.

His son’s birth proved to be more of a life changing experience than he thought. He had yet to even hold his son and yet he felt as if he had never loved another more. With his son and wife waiting upon his return John decided to do his job as fast as he could. He was an assassin.

His task for this particular night was to eliminate one of the few non-corrupt politicians left in the town and kill any who saw him. So he started to make his way to the hotel he was staying at nearby. With a little persuasion John was able to convince the front desk clerk to tell him what room the politician was staying at. John then took the elevator up to his room. Luckily for John a waiter happened to be in the elevator with him and on his way to the same room, so John promptly knocked him out and put on his clothes. He finished just in time as the doors opened and swiftly left the elevator before anyone noticed the man in his underwear he had left alone in the elevator. John hurried to the room, but was surprised to find how easy this particular job was. He knocked on the door and was promptly allowed in, however the politician was nowhere to be seen. John pulled out his gun and checked the rooms. He had checked everywhere and the politician wasn’t there. Just as he was about to leave the bed room he heard some people coming inside so he hid in the closet. No sooner had he shut the door when the bedroom door burst open and a young boy came running through. This shocked John and he hoped that he hadn’t stupidly come to the wrong room. He was relieved when he noticed the politician came in.

John was about to pull the trigger and finish the job so he could return to his wife in son. It was precisely at this moment when he noticed the politician’s face. It was the same expression he wore when he had heard about his son’s birth. John realized that he would never be able to take away this man’s life. So john waited until they were all asleep and then made his exit.
            This was the first job he hadn’t completed since he was married. He knew the consequences to what he had done. It was three strikes and you’re out. This was his third. He knew that when his boss called him for confirmation of the kill he would be found out. Just as he was thinking this his phone rang. His heart skipped a beat until he realized that it was his wife’s number. He answered and on the other line he heard his boss’s voice. This filled his body with dread and fear for what was about to happen. His boss went by the name of Mr. King and was known to punish those who betrayed him severely, and unfortunately for John an uncompleted job was considered a betrayal. Mr. King told him that he wanted to hear about what had happened face to face and to meet him at an airport hangar. John agreed and sped towards the location as fast as he could. When he arrived Mr. King and John’s family were already there waiting for him. When he arrived he found there was a table set up and they were eating an expensive meal with his son in a crib next to the table. John walked over to see his son for the first time when his boss told him to sit. As he was sitting John took notice of the several armed gunmen around the hanger and plane. The conversation that followed was awkward and drawn out. In the end John’s boss agreed to let them go if John was willing to never seek work with them again. As John and his wife began to rise from the table, the gunmen opened fire. John was shot in the shoulder and was instantly brought to the ground. His wife wasn’t so lucky. She was riddled with bullets while trying to shield their son. John saw his wife fall over the crib and it filled his body with rage. He brought out his gun and quickly dispatched four of the gunmen. The remaining two guarded the boss as he was getting on the plain. John fired at his boss, but the pain in his shoulder threw off his aim just enough to miss. His boss turned around and just smiled. The plain then went out of the hangar and John was powerless to stop it. He walked over to his fallen wife and began to weep.

            John then heard a noise. He gingerly moved his wife’s body and saw that his son still remained alive. He picked him up and held him. As he was holding him John noticed something. A bullet had grazed his son’s arm and he was bleeding. His son looked pale and John feared he had lost too much blood. He rushed to the emergency room and gave them his son, but alas, he was too late. The first time he held his son would also be his last.

            With the loss of his wife and son John didn’t know what to do. He went from bar to bar mourning. When he was at one of the bars he met one of his former colleges. His name was Luke Bishop. He was a rather tall and slender man who specialized in long range assassinations. After talking with him awhile he learned that several former assassins were treated the same way he was. They decided to join together to take down the man that had caused them so much pain.

Many months went by and they soon had a formidable force as well as a plan by which to accomplish their goals. A few of them still had friends in the business and had been keeping tabs as to what their former employer had been up to. They decided to strike upon his return to his mansion he had built in South Dakota. With that they began.

John and few others infiltrated the building disguised as servants who worked in the three story mansion. Meanwhile Luke and two others were set up at strategic positions in the country side that surrounded the mansion to see if they would be able to take him out with minimal effort. Just as everyone took their places, the limo with Mr. King pulled up. Bishop was the only one with the proper vantage point that could’ve possibly hit him. Even so it would be a tricky shot to make. Luke’s vision was obscured by some shrubbery next to the house and the wind was starting to pick up. Luke knew that if he was to make it that it was now or never. He took the shot. Mr. King was down and bleeding from his head. They all thought they had finally killed the one responsible for so many deaths. It was at the point that they all started to relax when Mr. King got up. The shot had been fired when Mr. King was turning his head and the bullet only grazed his nose causing it to bleed. As Mr. King was getting up he was hurriedly escorted to his mansion by his bodyguards. Luke had his chance and he blew it. He only made John’s job harder.

After the assassination attempt, Mr. King was escorted to a panic room that was prepared for an occasion such as this. It was a room that was fifteen feet by fifteen feet on the inside and the walls were five feet of concrete with the surface being two inches of steel. The room was air tight except for a small pipe that contained all the wiring and plumbing for the room. The room itself contains a small fridge and a separate small room that contains a bathroom. It also had enough food and water to survive in it for three weeks including Mr. King and two other persons. Getting into the panic room would prove to be nearly impossible, but luckily John had a plan for this.

In the days leading up to the event they were able to obtain a schematic to the house and learned of the panic room. John devised of a plan should Mr. King decide to use it. John had gotten access to the key that led to the room the pipe connected to from the panic room. Once there he fed a flexible air hose with an open end down into the pipe. Once it was down far enough he connected it to a tank full of compressed carbon monoxide and drained it into the panic room below.

Inside the panic room Mr. King noticed the air was starting to feel a little bit different, but decided it wasn’t that big of an issue and continued to go to the bathroom in peace. After several minutes had passed Mr. King felt light headed and dizzy. He tried to stand up, but both of his legs had fallen asleep from being on the toilet to long. Soon he could no longer stay conscious and passed out. Mr. King had died due to lack of oxygen along with both of his body guards in the room. With that the King had fallen and Knight and Bishop lived the rest of their days in peace.

I like my hair where it is

So I've decided to write about the DirectTV commercial "Don't sell your hair to a wig shop." The commercials have almost nothing in common, other than the narrator's voice, an insane amount of ridiculousness, and the general theme of "cable bad, DirectTV good." The means by which these commercials go about getting this message across is funny the first time around, but I personally find them a little annoying the 100th time viewing them, and as the audience in the situation (and a prospective customer) annoyance is not a good feeling to have toward the company. I do realize, however, that those feelings of annoyance might pertain only to me, and other people might enjoy these commercials.

Using humor is a great marketing tactic, however. An ad/commercial/slogan that makes people laugh might me more memorable than one that bores people half to death. These commercials use an overgeneralized statement (cable is bad) and explain why using a series of ridiculously improbable and outlandish if/then statements. In this particular commercial, watching cable can lead to depression, self-help seminars, Vegas, bankruptcy, and hairless-ness. We laugh at these commercials, they entertain us, and we think about DirectTV and the possibility of "hey, maybe I should try this out." These commercials are definitely unique, and when you think of any of the phrases coined by the commercials, you automatically think of DirectTV. It really is good marketing in my opinion, other than the annoyance level.
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"Don't Sell Your Hair to a Wig Shop"

To be honest after viewing all of these commercials, I have realized that I think these commercials are stupid! They are in a way humorous, but it's that stupid funny kind of humor. Yet, I could see how most find them funny and convincing. The DirectTv commercial "Don't Sell Your Hair to a Wig Shop" is trying to attract the comical side of the people watching television. More specifically this commercial is directed towards the people who don't have DirectTv. This is aimed to those people who pay for cable through a different provider and are constantly being hassled, or have difficulty with their cable. By making this commercial "funny" really gets people's attention. It starts out with a depressing mood setting to it.It’s all a downward spiral straight from the get go. Right away this depressive mood is blamed on the fact that your cable provider sucks because your cable provider isn’t DirectTV. Then they seem to think of the most far out scenario that could possibly happen. Such as in this commercial, he went to a seminar, and then felt like he was on top of the world. So in turn, he just decided to go to Las Vegas and gamble all of his money away. Since he had no more money he had to resort to selling his hair to a wig shop.

In a way this commercial is saying that if you have the money to pay for crappy cable services, and then go gamble all your money away, why not just save yourself the disappointment, frustration, struggle, and arguing by simply switching to DirectTv.  This commercial is implying that nothing good ever comes from having any cable provider unless your cable provider is the one and only DirectTv. Granted DirectTv chose to go to the extremes with their commercials. They did this to grab the attention of the audience, which I think they did very well in doing so. Whether the person watching the commercial “Don’t Sell Your Hair to a Wig Shop” thinks it is funny or flat out stupid, they will continue to watch the whole commercial to the end. I know this because that’s exactly what I do when these commercials come on. They do a great job at gaining interest in their company by playing this commercial and others like it. It wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of people checked into switching over to DirectTv.

Andra W.

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This blog is about the Direct TV commercial "Dont Wake Up in a Ditch." Commercials are used to attract the attention of the public so that the company can sell their product. This commercial is funny but there is a meaning behind it. The meaning of this commercial is for people to realize that they do not have to watch the slowness of cable. This commercial is humerous because ot attracts peopl's attention and it makes them want to watch the commercial. With the commercial being viewed by more and more people, the public begins to think that they need to have Direct Tv to make them happy and to fit in with the people around them. Also this commercial tells all those that watch television that if they do not have Direct TV they will have bad things happen to them.

Direct TV commercials are very funny and they are made to make you laugh but they are not based on truth because they tell you that if you do not have Direct TV that you will have very bad luck. This is entirely not true at all, because having a good television does not make you happy or mean that you will have good things happen to you.This is not true so they are saying if you join our company you will be happy and you will have good things happen to you. I think that they make good commercials but they need to be more realistic and use real world incidents and not something that is not true or would happen to a person. So to sum up everything I think Direct TV makes bad commercials because they are not true, and I only watch them because they are funny. One reason the commercials are bad because they do not mention the price of the tv packet or even what kind of channels that is had in the package. Having details about the product is necesary for compaany if they want people to buy their product .

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DirectTV

            This week we were told to analyze a DirectTV commercial for our blog. After taking the time and watching the six different commercial that they have I decided to do mine on “Don’t wake up in a road side ditch,”. Although all these commercials are very different from each other they all have the same idea. They are telling us that cable is bad and if we don’t switch over to DirectTV soon, then bad things are going to happen to us. Like in my video they stated that when my cable company puts me on hold I’m going to wake up in a road side ditch. Now, these two events obviously have nothing to do with each other what’s so ever but the idea behind them is pretty stupid, funny, and clever. The company is trying to reach out to the audience, that still has cable, trying to get them to switch over. They go about doing this in an over exaggerated way as you can see through the videos, but I think they accomplished what they set out to do.

            Although, I don’t think I would switch over to DirectTV just because of this commercial it does a very good job of bringing the company to my attention. The commercials are addicting to say the least. Once you start watching one of them you can’t stop, because you’re anticipating what will happen at the end. The commercials are really very unpredictable which helps in the aspect of pulling people in. Humor also plays a big role here. It’s ironic really how far the writer was able to take one little situation. Although I don’t believe it persuaded many people to switch over it was still a good commercial. It definitely stands out from the rest by being unique and funny. It’s really hard not to take a liking to them and really admire DirectTV for coming up with something like this.

rhetoric advertising

Direct  Tv has made numerous commercials, they make these commercials to catch their audience attention. Direct Tv has made different types of commericals stating turn off your cable and get Direct Tv. I had the opportunity to watch all different types of commercial for the direct tv business. The commercial that caught my attention was the commercial "Don't wake up in a road side ditch" The commercial is about a guy who has cable, and when the cable company keeps him on hold direct tv says he will be angry, and if he is angry bad things keep happening until he gets Direct TV. I find this commerical to be pretty humorous. The company did a good job making the commercial humorous because commedy seems to catch viewers attention.  Even though the commercial was very dramatic by making the guy angry and him waking up in a side ditch it gets the point across.

I believe the main purpose of these commercials is to help the company get more customers. The more advertisments the company have the better chance they have of making their business successful. Clearly the main point the commerical Don't wake up in a road ditch is stating switch from cable to Direct Tv. If your a customer of Direct Tv you won't have any problems. The commercial is very effective with the humor they have used. The audience for these commercials would obviously be me and whom ever is watching the commercials. Direct Tv must be doing really well with their advertisements. The company has made over five different commercials, all the commercials are very humorous and eye catching. The company must be getting new customers from their advertisment to keep making more commercials. After watching all the commercials "Don't wake up in a road side ditch" caught my attention.

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Megan H